"I have found our sessions very open and honest. You are patient and forgiving, which creates a trusting environment. Our sessions became a necessary staple in my weekly routine breaking the usual stress cycle. Over time I saw vast improvement in my health, outlook and confidence. Thank you."
"I didn't know how to step away from my work mentality having retired. I was spiralling down, making mistakes and blaming myself, always saying the wrong thing and not understanding why, and I was being a nasty person. My confidence was dropping away. With you I've understood the causes and flags of my outbursts, which were pushing the people I love away, especially my wife. I'm feeling relieved. Before I had no space to reflect, I had things going round in my head. I was self-analysing and self-criticising too much. I didn't know how to think and it was just getting worse. With you I had logical and pragmatic conversations which made sense to me, and enabled me to put my old way of approaching problems down for a while. You gave me the opportunity to open up, understand the three Fs [fight-flight-freeze] and work out what was fuelling my behaviour and put it right. We kept it simple. By the third week the fog had gone and it was down to the communication between us — you had the mindset to understand how I think, so thank you Zac."
"Zac, you will be pleased to know I am no longer working for Xxxx and am taking time to find myself again. My aim is to rekindle my spark for life which seemed to be sucked out from me a long time ago. I feel I still have a long way to go, it is lonely at times, but I am enjoying the journey so far. Keep doing your good work, it is much appreciated. Thanks again."
"You've given me my life back. I can't imagine sticking with it with anyone else. You've changed my life, met me on an intellectual level to make a deep connection. You're brilliant at this. I wouldn't have done the work in a different situation."
"You have a natural relaxed manner and give off a feeling of someone on a mission. It's helped me see what I value most in my life, how I work as an artist, and what I need to be OK. Talking to a man, there was an immediate connection which put me at ease. The videos and what you wrote on your website were very interesting, I connected with the idea of men not having a voice and being lost. In the past we'd go down the pub or let it out in other ways, violent ways. You have really helped me. You haven't stopped me or talked over me, you were never shocked and you knew how to read me and make silences count."
"Zac introduced me to Polyvagal Theory so that I could understand where my panic was coming from and get familiar with the physical signs such as a tight chest. Now when I feel that fight or flight response coming on I'm able to detach and observe rather than getting swallowed up and acting out in destructive ways. I thought I couldn't do relationships but I'm in a new relationship now and it feels healthy. I feel more in control of my emotions. I'm not getting the usual anxieties this time or the jealousy. That's never happened before. I used to feel insecure, not good enough. Now I feel more centred, more self-worth, and I'm better at forgiving myself and not thinking of myself as out of control. When I started working with Zac I didn't know what to expect, I had been told for years I should get therapy, and I contacted him when I'd reached rock bottom. I didn't expect the work to go so deep. I explored my childhood with Zac which helped me learn to be more accepting of who I am and my human vulnerabilities. I feel like I understand myself at a deeper level and I am in a better place."
"I knew about person centred therapy as I had trained in it but I had never experienced it done like this, so powerfully. I went through a massive transition with Zac and I wouldn't have made it without him. I wouldn't have been able to break through the barriers. It's been a massive game-changer, with huge changes in my life. I now have everything I set out for in what seems like the blink of an eye. If someone had said to me in January, "This is where you'll be in September," it wouldn't have seemed realistic. I'd hate to think where I'd be now without Zac. It's difficult to express how life altering it's been. I feel I've achieved these things myself but everything Zac did within the person centred model has transformed my life and enabled me to own it for myself too."
"Stress hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself at breaking point. Zac took me on a very significant spiritual journey exploring the deepest and darkest depths of my mind through psychotherapy and music therapy sessions which helped me find my way to lightness again. Before entering therapy with Zac, I had lost interest in my life's vocation of writing music and was experiencing a block in my creative process. Zac's empathetic, honest and non-judgemental nature was present throughout our sessions which made me feel comfortable sharing my feelings with him. It felt liberating to be this vulnerable with a therapist and this process opened new doors for me. This led on to the crucial work of writing an album's worth of songs together which we plan on recording professionally in the future. Zac's background in journalism and creative writing meant that I could relate to him on a creative and emotional level which as a musician is at the core of my being."
"Oh dear, this is difficult, especially to avoid a bunch of cliché’s. So, overall a big success. I’ve made loads of progress and I’m aware of the things that I have to keep working on. And also, I accept most things about me and I don’t feel the need to change it all. So, well done to me for moving in this direction and thank you to Zac for guiding me through this process. Zac is good at picking up the various strands of my stories and weaving them into a meaningful story, which I can then work on. I have felt welcome to return to each session and have looked forwards to them. Zac has been reassuring and has clearly been on “my side”. And now I’m going solo and I’m optimistic about making the most of everything."
"I like the fact that you remain impartial, so I trust you to give a balanced view. I like that you have a good balance between detachment, so I can be honest, yet I feel like you do actually care about how I am. You’re not fluffy or waffly, but you are kind. Video calls were actually easier and better than I’d imagined - it doesn’t take long to forget that you’re not actually in the same room. It’s kind of like watching a foreign film - once you get into it you stop noticing the subtitles. Once you get into the session you stop noticing you’re not in the same room. If the film is good, you really enjoy it and, as the counselling is good, you still get a lot out of it and it is still incredibly helpful."
"Two or three months ago my future looked terrible. I'm doing better than I thought I would be. I wouldn't have predicted this. I was ready to avoid dating for years but that's changed. I've left a job that was holding me back and gone into one that is feeding me and makes more sense long term. This is a new feeling for me."
"I started sessions with Zac over a year ago. I decided that I needed help and wanted to commit fully to the counselling process, I just needed to find the right person (after two previous failed attempts). Zac made me feel comfortable straight away with his warmth and kindness. I felt that he connected with both me and my story. He was genuinely interested and committed to the process. He has a way of caring and guiding that has enabled me to fully open up and explore for myself where my problems stem from. This has been a revelation to me and is not what I originally thought at all. I have only discovered this through sticking with the process long term. I am finally starting to see my way through. At long last I am beginning to understand why I have not felt able to cope with what life has thrown at me. Through putting my faith in Zac, and the clarity I now have, I can start to put all the pieces back together, but this time, in the right order. It’s been worth every penny, what I am gaining through this process is priceless to me. I couldn’t recommend Zac highly enough. Either face to face or online, personally I find it makes no difference to the outcome of the session. I’m not there yet but with Zac’s help I now have faith in myself that I can do this and am starting to glimpse a future that I can look forward to."
"I have to say I have thoroughly enjoyed (the right word?!) the experience and meetings with you, and have found the time useful."
"My previous therapists were too soft and flakey for me. You have challenged me in just the right ways and I feel like we're working together, which I have never felt before. Over the past year my life has changed for the better or, rather, I've changed, and I know it's down to the work I've been doing with you."
"I didn't understand why I was behaving destructively and I needed to get a handle on what was driving it before my baby came along. I did the work with Zac quickly. I hadn't looked at my past in that way before. He supported me as I understood my childhood. I took what I needed from my past and then let go so I could protect my partner and child from my demons."
"Zac has a way of being there for you. He was there for me once a week for six months and changed my life. Best investment I ever made."
"It hasn’t been what I expected. I never felt this understood before. I didn’t understand myself."
"For years I’d been carrying around things that weighed me down but I wouldn’t look at them, it was too scary. I hated feeling vulnerable. Zac gave me the patience and safety I needed to break through at last."
“Through your challenging questions and gentle support you helped me reevaluate my priorities and face the blocks that I had been avoiding — the issue was larger than I realised.”
"You've been able to tease from me why I get frustrated at work, and I've realised I've been feeling disappointed. I've been able to evaluate things and conclude that there's nothing wrong with me, it's more about my environment. I've got perspective and feel happier, stronger, younger. Video calls took some getting used to for me but worked really well."
CEASEFIRE METHOD
"I really appreciated being in a place where I could talk about these very tough issues with other dads in similar situations and where there was room to talk about feelings and stratagies and not just one or the other. That you are in a similar situation as facilitator was very useful too as you could relate to all of us and us to you too."
"I love it when Zac explains the theory and biological reasons why we behave in a certain way, which helps me understand why I do the same thing over and over again. I find these incredibly fascinating and helpful. I think all separated dads need a support group. While the FNF groups are good for actionable advice (but no emotions), I feel there needs to be an emotional support group for separated dads. We are never given the opportunity to be vulnerable and show or even explore emotions – so this gives us the safe platform to do so."
"I've managed to understand how to open up in these sessions. It's not just me alone, it's with others experiencing similar feelings. It really helped me to understand myself. Thank you Zac, I needed these sessions to understand."
"We narrowed down the problem to two things: look after number one and find a way of doing it that works for me; and work on accepting what is hard and makes me unhappy, finding a way of living with sadness, grief and loss."
"Before I thought my priority was the kids, but I've realised I need to be here so I can help them. I was suicidal. I haven't seen my youngest child for 10 months. One day I am going to see that child. I want to be positive and focus more on myself to make sure that happens."
"I've enjoyed the grounding exercises and the feeling of belonging in a small, tight group where we all understand and respect each other. Life often feels overwhelming, there is fear and a lot of stress, so the group became safe place for me in the week."
Zac Fine. Photos by Heaven McArthur
Copyright © 2020 zac - All Rights Reserved.
Powered by GoDaddy Website Builder